"You're White!"... glee!
I don't tend to go to bars much here, less often the bars attached to the main luxury hotels, the bars that attract and retain the largest possible foreigner/whitey population "out on the town in India" for a night. Though last night after encountering a number of locked doors of more desirable places and their annexed empty alleyways, we went to just such an establishment. There was a cover band fronted by a Bengali woman who despite the ban on public smoking seemed enshrouded in her own kind of sensual haze, playing Amerikan rock classics without even a shred of restraint or irony. There's a certain demographic here that has adopted Amerikan and British classic rock as their own anthem(s), believing in the power of these melodies and lyrics above anything else, and with an intention stronger than anyone I've ever seen before. Brows furrowed in concentration and zeal, eyes pulled tight in moody sacrosanct. More of a show, however, was the nebulous tourist doldrum that occupied much of the middle of the bar floor, made up of half fairly bored and confused faces, the others lost in the ecstasy of being a complete and utter mess. As soon as I got into the bar a girl dressed in last year's big summer fashions (when you're away from the west for too long, you do happen to lose touch after all) flailed her arms in almost frightening excitement and yelled "You're White!... where are you from?" the latter with much less enthusiasm and fervor than the former. This is true, I do happen to actually be exceptionally white. Though my only response was to point out that my friend Tahmid standing at my side whom they had not greeted with such pomp and celebration, while indeed being brown, was also from Amerika. As I sneaked away from this rather contrived and slightly stomach-tipping reception, Tahmid took over rather seamlessly within a few second of it beginning. Apparently all of this girl's tourist friends were leaving the next day, thus leaving her 'homeless', and so after all that she repeatedly asked Tahmid if she could stay with him. He avoided her for the rest of the evening.
On the other side of this tourist encampment was the real mess of the evening, a couple dudes embarrassingly trashed, breaking out into groin-focused dance every few minutes, occasionally falling into people or furniture, or simply grabbing a girl for a moment of dance, usually dropping her, or themselves, or everyone involved, onto the regrettably sticky floor below. The night continued on this queasy path: interesting comments and glances from all directions, punctuated by the slips, falls, or banshee-like yelps of the whiteys somewhere in the immediate distance. Germans looking for a little love on the road, men with ambiguous sexuality momentarily pushing their way into inconvenient spaces to posture before retreating back into the crowd in defeat. Photographers looking to get a picture of (us) whiteys, particularly due to the radiantly blond tresses of my companion. The overall theme of the evening however remained a negatively connoted "wacky whities", sticking in my mind like a sour aftertaste. No wonder we're treated by strangers initially as these horrible, soulless tourists, more likely to pay 200 rupees for a beer at an enclosed sanctum of a bar than to really actually try to understand anything about the place they actually are or even have a simple civil interaction. Because it doesn't matter - when the haze of the night before passes they'll probably pack up whatever knickknacks they've picked up from street vendors at inflated prices over the past few days, get on a train, go somewhere else, and buy a beer. And maybe dance.
November 25, 2008
November 16, 2008
Temp
1. A temporary temporality
As I close in on the sixth month mark here, evaluating in which ways I've 'succeeded' and in which ways I've faltered or fallen*, I keep turning on a defining characteristic of the very time I spend here - the temporary nature of it all. No matter how much I feel like I finally belong here, no matter how many fewer stares I get per day or how many more successful conversations I manage to carry off, how much more integrated I become in this neighborhood and its quirky dynamics, always nagging and tugging is how temporary all of this is. All of the friendships, relationships, apartments, ideas, feelings, desires, hatreds, wants, needs... all are based on an assumption of this one momentous moment, with the suspension of the outside world and my life within it. This is a flash that happens to last a few months rather than minutes yet ends all the same, without even the slightest vestige or trace of its glow, no matter how brilliant it had been. This temporality effects more than the obtuse and the diffuse existential mindset, rather it constantly fucks with you, leaving you wondering where you really are and what your situation really is. 'Best friends' disappear back to the west, crowded social schedules suddenly appear vacant and bleak, as the particular tenants in this expatriate boarding home pack up their books and trinkets and head back to a world with stop-lights on every corner and 24 hour delis.
Basically, I feel lonely sometimes even when sitting in front of a friend, their image almost flickering before my eyes with a hollow transparency... poof.
* = My goal being the comically simple aim of actually just existing without too much in the way of defined goals, plans, or desires. In other words, living in someplace very very different for one year, without reading or injecting too much into it, letting it happen as it seems to be inclined rather than trying to force or contrive something different or alien out of it.
2. Again sick
Again tonight I'll go to sleep hoping not to wake up shaking from cold halfway through - a particularly obnoxious effect of my recent bout of sick. The newspapers have been blaring on and on about the 'vector diseases' (malaria, dengue, encephalitis) and their recent rise, pushing me in a fair bit of worry and concern to the doctor today, confused as to the reason behind this fever that has lasted several days now, swinging rapidly between 96 to 102, never seeming to actually abate (a particularly common pattern for malaria). I went to the doctor's chambers at 7 Hindustan Road, a tiny room with half-doors like an old-west saloon, kirtan or baul music (I can never tell the difference outside of guessing) so loud it was difficult for my complaints of headaches and 'loose motion' to be heard, a sikh man with both a turban and a motorcycle helmet (the two often come paired, it's true!) rudely peeping his face over the doors in impatient agitation. The blood test, after much waiting, and the possession and presentation of a number of numbered disks to mark my place in a tumultuous queue, luckily came back negative. I'm still sick, but now I just need to wait it out with heavy doses of antibiotics, happy to know I didn't somehow manage to catch malaria. No malaria! No vector diseases today!
As I close in on the sixth month mark here, evaluating in which ways I've 'succeeded' and in which ways I've faltered or fallen*, I keep turning on a defining characteristic of the very time I spend here - the temporary nature of it all. No matter how much I feel like I finally belong here, no matter how many fewer stares I get per day or how many more successful conversations I manage to carry off, how much more integrated I become in this neighborhood and its quirky dynamics, always nagging and tugging is how temporary all of this is. All of the friendships, relationships, apartments, ideas, feelings, desires, hatreds, wants, needs... all are based on an assumption of this one momentous moment, with the suspension of the outside world and my life within it. This is a flash that happens to last a few months rather than minutes yet ends all the same, without even the slightest vestige or trace of its glow, no matter how brilliant it had been. This temporality effects more than the obtuse and the diffuse existential mindset, rather it constantly fucks with you, leaving you wondering where you really are and what your situation really is. 'Best friends' disappear back to the west, crowded social schedules suddenly appear vacant and bleak, as the particular tenants in this expatriate boarding home pack up their books and trinkets and head back to a world with stop-lights on every corner and 24 hour delis.
Basically, I feel lonely sometimes even when sitting in front of a friend, their image almost flickering before my eyes with a hollow transparency... poof.
* = My goal being the comically simple aim of actually just existing without too much in the way of defined goals, plans, or desires. In other words, living in someplace very very different for one year, without reading or injecting too much into it, letting it happen as it seems to be inclined rather than trying to force or contrive something different or alien out of it.
2. Again sick
Again tonight I'll go to sleep hoping not to wake up shaking from cold halfway through - a particularly obnoxious effect of my recent bout of sick. The newspapers have been blaring on and on about the 'vector diseases' (malaria, dengue, encephalitis) and their recent rise, pushing me in a fair bit of worry and concern to the doctor today, confused as to the reason behind this fever that has lasted several days now, swinging rapidly between 96 to 102, never seeming to actually abate (a particularly common pattern for malaria). I went to the doctor's chambers at 7 Hindustan Road, a tiny room with half-doors like an old-west saloon, kirtan or baul music (I can never tell the difference outside of guessing) so loud it was difficult for my complaints of headaches and 'loose motion' to be heard, a sikh man with both a turban and a motorcycle helmet (the two often come paired, it's true!) rudely peeping his face over the doors in impatient agitation. The blood test, after much waiting, and the possession and presentation of a number of numbered disks to mark my place in a tumultuous queue, luckily came back negative. I'm still sick, but now I just need to wait it out with heavy doses of antibiotics, happy to know I didn't somehow manage to catch malaria. No malaria! No vector diseases today!
November 10, 2008
Week ??? (Disappearance, etc...)
I disappeared again. It was accidental, mostly. I think this weekly updating scheme was a bit to ambitious. I often feel too lazy to make these little posts, especially when I'm so unsure if anyone's reading them. Though hearing from a few friends and acquaintances after a recent internet vanishing act makes me want to give it another go. So, here we go.
(This one's going to be a bit long...)
Weather! Scarfs!
These past few weeks have pretty nice, a strange return to a kind of normalcy. The weather has calmed to the point where the air no longer suppresses as it once did, when the shear heat kept the sweat flowing but any ambition to do anything at all mildly interesting at an all-time low. Interesting, I now feel that temperatures in the 60's-70's (ie. 20's c) are downright chilly and frequently need to bundle up in a scarf. I suppose that means I've adjusted, though it remains a bit baffling to feel a shake of a chill when it's still semi-tropical outdoors... as it always is.
Politics (US Election in Indialand)
The amerikan election came and went in Kolkata in a classically unusual and novel fashion. Due to the time difference the polls closed at around 6 in the morning, though luckily the consulate was putting on a results watching party in a smaller ball-room at one of the nicest hotels in town. Fruit-juices, chocolate donuts that reminded me of elementary school birthday celebrations, and miniature pizzas - that were so by name only - abounded, along with a ridiculous supply of pins, the mccain-palin ones remaining mostly untouched. Interestingly, or perhaps expectedly, the demographics of expats living in Kolkata lie heavily in the blue, save for the occasional patron of red, or really more commonly green. Perhaps it's because the group here tends to be fairly young, fairly open-minded, failry well-educated, fairly moneyed enough to be able to take a salary in rupees rather than dollars for a few months that this group of people tend toward the left. I'd be curious if the make-up of the expat communities in other metros like Delhi and Mumbai would be equally so unequal... if this was a trend specifically for the iconified 'neediness' of Kolkata, or if it exists throughout the larger India. As the polls began to get tallied and the sun slowly rose invisibly beyond the velveted and draped walls of our stately compound others began to filter in: the majority of my friends and friends-of-friends here, the volunteer-tourists from sudder-street, the stay-at-home mommies of big amerikan company men, the unmistakable glossiness of nri's temporarily back in residency, the old kurta'ed men there seemingly only for an interest in international politics. Lining the back edge of the auditorium a line of video cameras had been set up by local press and men with large cameras took pictures of occasionally enthused foreigners watching two jumbo-trons bedecked in tricolor (our tricolor) balloon archways.
[In the day that followed the election, the pictures of various expats, particularly the pretty girl ones, graced the covers or inside foreign sections of the newspapers perhaps just as often as the exuberant portrait of Obama himself. I myself was in a few, and of course kept copies of the better ones. Theres something novel about a picture posed with Obama, its subtitles cast in the unmistakable points and curlicues of Bengali]
Soon after breakfast began transmogrifying into mini-pizzas the election almost anti-climatically was called to its well received close, though we lacked the same kind of exuberant punctuation lent by the parades and celebration that I heard about back home in the big cities. We did, however, have a rather large amerikan flag cake and some hearty smiles. Our own sort of proxied celebration, momentarily tied back to our homes not through economic worries ill-fated news, but rather this poetic blessing of change. Sitting in this particularly polyglotic group, watching a self-titled mutt shake his fist in the air on stage as the new president, I felt an embarrassing little surge of giddiness and excitement. The future...? Mixtures, ambiguity, heterogeneity, internationalism, globalism, contradictions and juxtaposition... the future! change!
Varanasi
I visited my friend Davey, living in Sarnath right outside of Varanasi a week or so ago. The train ride itself was a bit of a good old adventure; Me, alone somewhere in northeastern India, in an overnight train for at least 15 hours or so, amused particularly by the varying supplies of snacks sold aboard the train and the occasional invasion of the train cars by packs of Hijras (Those characters that occupy a particularly strange fringe of Indian society, a troop of heavily made up and sometimes strangely disproportionate, their ranks made up of Eunechs, hermaphrodites, transvestities, transgenders, gays, and what have you), clapping and jeering at men frozen stiff in a mockery of deaf and dumb. They'd straddle mens legs gesturing awkwardly, their mouths twisted in a compromise between the Lolita and the aggressor, squawking retorts until men coughed up a few rupees in return for an air kiss not bargained for. Sometime after a tiffin-dinner and before the lights in the car flicked off for sleep, as the train lay idling in a field somewhere, no doubt rice-paddies spread invisible in the darkness beyond the window bars, flashes of light jostled about outside as a hush fell over the cabin. Suddenly people and bags were being rearranged for seemingly no reason as a swarm formed outside the train car, identifiable only by the uniformity of Muslim dress. My fellow berth mates refused to explain what was happening, their mouths clamped below eyed beaming apprehension and some kind of fun. I panicked a bit inside, thoughts of communal violence and muslim-hindu aggression managing to both cloud and cut through the situation. However this group of mohammadean pirates were little more than illegal passengers, boxed out of getting tickets due to the holiday-time uptick of travel, looking to sneak into any space left unoccupied, the panic on board only based in losing a little foot and luggage space, rather than a limb or an eye. I felt a little foolish. Ooops. But eventually I reached my destination without so much a hitch.
I witnessed Diwali (The festival of lights, the symbolic return of Ram back home amongst much celebration and invitation) gearing up in what's supposed to be its festival capital. I was a tourist for a few days, enjoying such things like crusty bread and a wide assortment of pastry, things really only available in tourist enclaves and thusly pretty sparsely found through Kolkata. There was a profusion of swiss, a gaggle of elderly English eating pizza riverside, and only a couple or so Amerikan mingling amongst the Indian population through the alleyways of this city so totally defined by such disparate industries. Firstly, and primarily there's the industry of death, of ritual burning and immersion, an economy based on fortuitousness and the merit of dying and being cremated in this particular spot.
(It's interesting, for a moment to consider the shape of the city with respect to this. Just as the city for so many represents a cosmic threshold, represents the hope and possibility of a better life, or more hopefully its very dissolution... a passage into the grace of nothingness, the city itself seems composed of one immense stark edge - The city sits heaped up along the shores of the Ganga, its density and solidity standing in profound contrast to the absolute nothingness of the river and the sandy flood-plain opposite. Urban and disurban, chaos and perfect emptiness - at night the curl of the city becomes illuminated, the faint bustle of traffic still echoing within its arteries, the flash and giggle of a firecracker carried along its shores, while the mist rolls in to confront it from the river, reflecting back only a faint and diffused echo of its light and life. A shallow reminder of the bustle we all occupy, obliterated in a near absolute and beautiful empty.)
Secondly, (I have strayed... now back to industry/economy), there is the massive tourist industry: The boatmen lining the shores shouting for customers (some boats filled with knick-knacks rather than passengers, which sideline the tour-boats in transit to make a sell), the children selling postcards, floating candles,and bizarre meaningless insignia to be painted on the bony plane between the wrist and thumb. A community of these touristing cosmopolites rummages through these shit-dazzled streets, looking for their own kind of (right of) passage, yet often distracted by the many opportunities to buy flowy pants and patchworks shawls and sling-bags, a kind of fashion that looks like an exotified and fetishized pair of Indian pyjamas, traditionally never worn out of the house and in sum alien to actual 'local' culture. Though in a sense, while this transient population exists liminally in its own way, always taking a train or more often an air-conditioned behemoth of a bus onto the next fanciful destination after a few days, and returning to the safety and austerity of their european espresso makers and smart minimalist furniture usually after a few weeks, in a city like Varanasi they have become their own culture, their own economy, their own market superimposed upon what actually existed in the city that attracted the first visitors, that somehow contrived the 'flowy pant' for sale to these dewy eyed and fair-cheeked spectators. The citizens might be temporary, might be only renting and loaning their small guest-house residences, their membership to their nation, yet this very nature stands permanent, ready to be filled by its fleeting migrants, its funny patrons. All hail the tourist economy, the tourist culture, the tourist nation, marching onwards to the distant horizon, trance music buffered by local percussion blasting around their army, che guereva standing at their helm, dreadlocks flying up in a sudden gust of unusually chilly wind... the wind of our own fleeting mortality, or perhaps only hankering for Thai food or a baguette whilst abroad in the 'fantastic kaleidescope' of India.
(This one's going to be a bit long...)
Weather! Scarfs!
These past few weeks have pretty nice, a strange return to a kind of normalcy. The weather has calmed to the point where the air no longer suppresses as it once did, when the shear heat kept the sweat flowing but any ambition to do anything at all mildly interesting at an all-time low. Interesting, I now feel that temperatures in the 60's-70's (ie. 20's c) are downright chilly and frequently need to bundle up in a scarf. I suppose that means I've adjusted, though it remains a bit baffling to feel a shake of a chill when it's still semi-tropical outdoors... as it always is.
Politics (US Election in Indialand)
The amerikan election came and went in Kolkata in a classically unusual and novel fashion. Due to the time difference the polls closed at around 6 in the morning, though luckily the consulate was putting on a results watching party in a smaller ball-room at one of the nicest hotels in town. Fruit-juices, chocolate donuts that reminded me of elementary school birthday celebrations, and miniature pizzas - that were so by name only - abounded, along with a ridiculous supply of pins, the mccain-palin ones remaining mostly untouched. Interestingly, or perhaps expectedly, the demographics of expats living in Kolkata lie heavily in the blue, save for the occasional patron of red, or really more commonly green. Perhaps it's because the group here tends to be fairly young, fairly open-minded, failry well-educated, fairly moneyed enough to be able to take a salary in rupees rather than dollars for a few months that this group of people tend toward the left. I'd be curious if the make-up of the expat communities in other metros like Delhi and Mumbai would be equally so unequal... if this was a trend specifically for the iconified 'neediness' of Kolkata, or if it exists throughout the larger India. As the polls began to get tallied and the sun slowly rose invisibly beyond the velveted and draped walls of our stately compound others began to filter in: the majority of my friends and friends-of-friends here, the volunteer-tourists from sudder-street, the stay-at-home mommies of big amerikan company men, the unmistakable glossiness of nri's temporarily back in residency, the old kurta'ed men there seemingly only for an interest in international politics. Lining the back edge of the auditorium a line of video cameras had been set up by local press and men with large cameras took pictures of occasionally enthused foreigners watching two jumbo-trons bedecked in tricolor (our tricolor) balloon archways.
[In the day that followed the election, the pictures of various expats, particularly the pretty girl ones, graced the covers or inside foreign sections of the newspapers perhaps just as often as the exuberant portrait of Obama himself. I myself was in a few, and of course kept copies of the better ones. Theres something novel about a picture posed with Obama, its subtitles cast in the unmistakable points and curlicues of Bengali]
Soon after breakfast began transmogrifying into mini-pizzas the election almost anti-climatically was called to its well received close, though we lacked the same kind of exuberant punctuation lent by the parades and celebration that I heard about back home in the big cities. We did, however, have a rather large amerikan flag cake and some hearty smiles. Our own sort of proxied celebration, momentarily tied back to our homes not through economic worries ill-fated news, but rather this poetic blessing of change. Sitting in this particularly polyglotic group, watching a self-titled mutt shake his fist in the air on stage as the new president, I felt an embarrassing little surge of giddiness and excitement. The future...? Mixtures, ambiguity, heterogeneity, internationalism, globalism, contradictions and juxtaposition... the future! change!
Varanasi
I visited my friend Davey, living in Sarnath right outside of Varanasi a week or so ago. The train ride itself was a bit of a good old adventure; Me, alone somewhere in northeastern India, in an overnight train for at least 15 hours or so, amused particularly by the varying supplies of snacks sold aboard the train and the occasional invasion of the train cars by packs of Hijras (Those characters that occupy a particularly strange fringe of Indian society, a troop of heavily made up and sometimes strangely disproportionate, their ranks made up of Eunechs, hermaphrodites, transvestities, transgenders, gays, and what have you), clapping and jeering at men frozen stiff in a mockery of deaf and dumb. They'd straddle mens legs gesturing awkwardly, their mouths twisted in a compromise between the Lolita and the aggressor, squawking retorts until men coughed up a few rupees in return for an air kiss not bargained for. Sometime after a tiffin-dinner and before the lights in the car flicked off for sleep, as the train lay idling in a field somewhere, no doubt rice-paddies spread invisible in the darkness beyond the window bars, flashes of light jostled about outside as a hush fell over the cabin. Suddenly people and bags were being rearranged for seemingly no reason as a swarm formed outside the train car, identifiable only by the uniformity of Muslim dress. My fellow berth mates refused to explain what was happening, their mouths clamped below eyed beaming apprehension and some kind of fun. I panicked a bit inside, thoughts of communal violence and muslim-hindu aggression managing to both cloud and cut through the situation. However this group of mohammadean pirates were little more than illegal passengers, boxed out of getting tickets due to the holiday-time uptick of travel, looking to sneak into any space left unoccupied, the panic on board only based in losing a little foot and luggage space, rather than a limb or an eye. I felt a little foolish. Ooops. But eventually I reached my destination without so much a hitch.
I witnessed Diwali (The festival of lights, the symbolic return of Ram back home amongst much celebration and invitation) gearing up in what's supposed to be its festival capital. I was a tourist for a few days, enjoying such things like crusty bread and a wide assortment of pastry, things really only available in tourist enclaves and thusly pretty sparsely found through Kolkata. There was a profusion of swiss, a gaggle of elderly English eating pizza riverside, and only a couple or so Amerikan mingling amongst the Indian population through the alleyways of this city so totally defined by such disparate industries. Firstly, and primarily there's the industry of death, of ritual burning and immersion, an economy based on fortuitousness and the merit of dying and being cremated in this particular spot.
(It's interesting, for a moment to consider the shape of the city with respect to this. Just as the city for so many represents a cosmic threshold, represents the hope and possibility of a better life, or more hopefully its very dissolution... a passage into the grace of nothingness, the city itself seems composed of one immense stark edge - The city sits heaped up along the shores of the Ganga, its density and solidity standing in profound contrast to the absolute nothingness of the river and the sandy flood-plain opposite. Urban and disurban, chaos and perfect emptiness - at night the curl of the city becomes illuminated, the faint bustle of traffic still echoing within its arteries, the flash and giggle of a firecracker carried along its shores, while the mist rolls in to confront it from the river, reflecting back only a faint and diffused echo of its light and life. A shallow reminder of the bustle we all occupy, obliterated in a near absolute and beautiful empty.)
Secondly, (I have strayed... now back to industry/economy), there is the massive tourist industry: The boatmen lining the shores shouting for customers (some boats filled with knick-knacks rather than passengers, which sideline the tour-boats in transit to make a sell), the children selling postcards, floating candles,and bizarre meaningless insignia to be painted on the bony plane between the wrist and thumb. A community of these touristing cosmopolites rummages through these shit-dazzled streets, looking for their own kind of (right of) passage, yet often distracted by the many opportunities to buy flowy pants and patchworks shawls and sling-bags, a kind of fashion that looks like an exotified and fetishized pair of Indian pyjamas, traditionally never worn out of the house and in sum alien to actual 'local' culture. Though in a sense, while this transient population exists liminally in its own way, always taking a train or more often an air-conditioned behemoth of a bus onto the next fanciful destination after a few days, and returning to the safety and austerity of their european espresso makers and smart minimalist furniture usually after a few weeks, in a city like Varanasi they have become their own culture, their own economy, their own market superimposed upon what actually existed in the city that attracted the first visitors, that somehow contrived the 'flowy pant' for sale to these dewy eyed and fair-cheeked spectators. The citizens might be temporary, might be only renting and loaning their small guest-house residences, their membership to their nation, yet this very nature stands permanent, ready to be filled by its fleeting migrants, its funny patrons. All hail the tourist economy, the tourist culture, the tourist nation, marching onwards to the distant horizon, trance music buffered by local percussion blasting around their army, che guereva standing at their helm, dreadlocks flying up in a sudden gust of unusually chilly wind... the wind of our own fleeting mortality, or perhaps only hankering for Thai food or a baguette whilst abroad in the 'fantastic kaleidescope' of India.
Week Sixteen (Idolatrous New Years?)
1. A Shiva Lingam in a Pretty Red Dress
While I had good intentions of joining a few other abroad jews this week for what turned out to be a rather short and sparsely populated Rosh Ha'shanah service (lacking a minyan it didn't take place in earnest), a late night and a later rise got in the way of such things. Instead, I spent the day primarily walking about under a blazing Indian sun, occasionally partaking of my (and others') religious whims. Before a go of rather universalist tashlich, a disowning of sins through the flinging of bread, I went with a friend for a dosa at our beloved and often frequented South Indian Club. After our normal go of things, after the saf/fennel was delivered to the table and the bill was paid amidst the seeds, the fellow who usually says nothing to us besides an exuberant "meals", "special", or the occasional "masala, cheese, etc...", simply pointed us to go upstairs, escorted by a small child. It was clear something was in the air besides a the normal smell of spice and sweat; while eating women had been gathering in the courtyard, sipping cha out of tiny pink plastic cups, looking profoundly satisfied. Without knowing exactly where we were going, but trusting out hosts on the quality of their dosas and the heartiness of their reception, we ended up in a large room with an even larger group of almost entirely middle age women sitting in plastic chairs facing a rather gaudily done up shrine, gossiping and taking little notice of the prayers being sung through two complimentary loudspeakers. Beneath the drapes of shiny plastic ruffles sat a veritable pantheon of gods, elephants, and happily smiling figurines, in attendance to what appeared to be a Shiv-Durga mash-up... a shiva linga done up with a little red and gold outfit, with a portrait of durga displayed behind. Simultaneously a exalted mash-up of the male and female, the paternal and the maternal, and simultaneously a stone penis in a dress. After our fill of banter and shiny things we left, picking up a ziploc baggy each of prasad and a saffron plastic bag filled with coconut, leaves, and a chunk of turmeric. I bought a loaf of "Atta-Shakti" bread - after returning the one that appeared to be full of a small contingent of ants - on the way to the nearby lake, where we proceeded to enjoy tashlich complimented by an at par number of stairs and a scenery of palm trees and concrete condominiums in the distance.
As I flicked the bits of bread into the water and snacked upon the grab-bag of prasad, I wondered more amusingly than seriously about how 'kosher' of a holiday I was conducting, considering the lack of proper hebrew prayer and its traditionally inappropriate replacement with an unexpected but rather satisfying jaunt of idolatry. I'm not quite sure of the answer, but I had to ask myself what is the meaning of a decree against idolatry outside of the context of age-old Canaan, within a world of unitarian monotheisizing Hinduism, in a post-Vivekananda India? Was my not particularly fervent audience before this funny mash-up diety on one of the high holy days an assault upon Jewish values and an action in need of atonement, pled for over the course of this week before Yom Kippur, or was it rather a completely acceptable universalist approach to the holiday, floating in the tides of the oceanic feeling of religion, replacing exact ritual yet preserving mindset and sacristy?
While I had good intentions of joining a few other abroad jews this week for what turned out to be a rather short and sparsely populated Rosh Ha'shanah service (lacking a minyan it didn't take place in earnest), a late night and a later rise got in the way of such things. Instead, I spent the day primarily walking about under a blazing Indian sun, occasionally partaking of my (and others') religious whims. Before a go of rather universalist tashlich, a disowning of sins through the flinging of bread, I went with a friend for a dosa at our beloved and often frequented South Indian Club. After our normal go of things, after the saf/fennel was delivered to the table and the bill was paid amidst the seeds, the fellow who usually says nothing to us besides an exuberant "meals", "special", or the occasional "masala, cheese, etc...", simply pointed us to go upstairs, escorted by a small child. It was clear something was in the air besides a the normal smell of spice and sweat; while eating women had been gathering in the courtyard, sipping cha out of tiny pink plastic cups, looking profoundly satisfied. Without knowing exactly where we were going, but trusting out hosts on the quality of their dosas and the heartiness of their reception, we ended up in a large room with an even larger group of almost entirely middle age women sitting in plastic chairs facing a rather gaudily done up shrine, gossiping and taking little notice of the prayers being sung through two complimentary loudspeakers. Beneath the drapes of shiny plastic ruffles sat a veritable pantheon of gods, elephants, and happily smiling figurines, in attendance to what appeared to be a Shiv-Durga mash-up... a shiva linga done up with a little red and gold outfit, with a portrait of durga displayed behind. Simultaneously a exalted mash-up of the male and female, the paternal and the maternal, and simultaneously a stone penis in a dress. After our fill of banter and shiny things we left, picking up a ziploc baggy each of prasad and a saffron plastic bag filled with coconut, leaves, and a chunk of turmeric. I bought a loaf of "Atta-Shakti" bread - after returning the one that appeared to be full of a small contingent of ants - on the way to the nearby lake, where we proceeded to enjoy tashlich complimented by an at par number of stairs and a scenery of palm trees and concrete condominiums in the distance.
As I flicked the bits of bread into the water and snacked upon the grab-bag of prasad, I wondered more amusingly than seriously about how 'kosher' of a holiday I was conducting, considering the lack of proper hebrew prayer and its traditionally inappropriate replacement with an unexpected but rather satisfying jaunt of idolatry. I'm not quite sure of the answer, but I had to ask myself what is the meaning of a decree against idolatry outside of the context of age-old Canaan, within a world of unitarian monotheisizing Hinduism, in a post-Vivekananda India? Was my not particularly fervent audience before this funny mash-up diety on one of the high holy days an assault upon Jewish values and an action in need of atonement, pled for over the course of this week before Yom Kippur, or was it rather a completely acceptable universalist approach to the holiday, floating in the tides of the oceanic feeling of religion, replacing exact ritual yet preserving mindset and sacristy?
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